Like Jim Delany in a thong: Old, unsexy, and ordering you around since 1896. Now, go brush your tooth.
Wanna know why Miami sucks now? Because they joined us and not you. Keep your crap up and we'll steal your best team too.
I know it looks like we suck, but seriously, we're better than the MAC. Honestly. Check the stats.
If it weren't for elves, fairy dust, wizards, and Pac 10 refs, we'd have 11 BCS titles by now...
Our country's used to giving out stuff for free to people who haven't earned it (see: welfare) so yeah...about that BCS bid...
You might not know about us because you're too sissy to stay up past 11 EST to see good football. So many trees, and so little time to hug them all.
I don't care if you think the SEC is overrated. I think your conference sucks. Oh, and we CAN read (the Alabama textbook scandal kind of proves this.)