Myths, Reality, and Stupidity
I've taken a solid 48 hours to digest what, for some reason, is a gripping emotional roller coaster for me as a fan. I wish I knew why, because I lack a single thing in my house that says Cleveland Cavaliers on it, but for some reason, this story has me on the brink of rooming with Courtney Love and Nicholas Cage's career somewhere in a loony bin. Maybe it's because I wanted so badly to believe that Lebron James was different in a way that makes a guy likeable that you don't necessarily have any ties to. But as the last 2 days have drug on, I feel the weight of collective stupidity falling over this nation of armchair psychoanalysts, passionate fans, and detatched, desperate media. I've read all angles, from about 15 different newspapers and 1,000 different writers. I've studied 20 radio shows and 400 guests on them. And I've come up with these things that the American public...and maybe even Queen James himself need to know as they wander off into the wilderness of this newfound Get Along Gang of self absorbed pigs in Miami.
1. Why aren't we celebrating James' decision? He gave up money for a better chance at winning. Isn't that what we always want out of our athletes?
Why it's a Myth: This is the crux of the "Support Lebron" argument, most ignorantly used by one Stuart Scott, who with his T-Rex on vodka looking eyes has always had the privelige of watching James and Wade play at the same time in opposite parts of the country, let alone on the same team. Because Scott is, if nothing else, a wussy who fluffs questions so athletes will pretend to like him like a girl who gives blow jobs at the drop of a hat so guys will keep talking to her, he might do himself well to learn about the state of Florida, which apparently lacks a state income and real estate tax that what, every other state has? At any rate, it was reported shortly after James spunked all over Cleveland that even at the 5 year, 99 million proposed deal, he'd stand to collect MORE money just because of the taxation system by 1 million than had he signed with the Cavs. 
Since he did a sign and trade, that would mean that he'd probably be taking in about 5 million MORE to be in Miami than Cleveland. Doesn't sound to me like a guy who is giving up money for wins, does it, you idiots?
2. Miami gives him the best shot at winning multiple championships
Why it's a Myth: It's less myth than it is hypothesis, albeit not that educated of one. I can say that aliens will cook me bacon and eggs in the morning after I get done paying the Olsen twins' cab fare for the raucous threesome the night before. Doesn't make it necessarily true. The Bulls have a more than capable roster with more shots to go around for James. And for all the pomp and circumstance about Cleveland being a wasteland, they did rack up two straight #1 seeds, 60+ wins, and as good of a chance to win a title as anyone in the league. That doesn't happen because you have no chance at winning. What I do know is, Cleveland went to the NBA finals with a patchwork roster and then ran off two great seasons, one ending in the conference finals, one in the conference semis. Just like USA Basketball circa 2000-07 or that terrible re-make of We Are The World...because Michael Jackson died, putting a bunch of all stars on a team guarantees nothing great. Could he win a bunch of rings? Sure. Could he in Cleveland, NYC, or Chicago? Um...yeah.
3. Lebron checked his ego at the door by joining the Heat
Why it's a Myth: Did you see that 1 hour, 2 week self masturbation session? When Rod Stewart wrote the words for "Do ya think I'm Sexy" he wasn't that full of himself.
4. Cleveland didn't do enough to help him win a title, and thus he felt the need to leave.
Why it's a Myth: Simply put, Cleveland poured an embarassment of effort into James' winning. They hired some of his know nothing associates and overpaid them so James would feel "comfortable" all the time at the facility, as if the 10 million a year he was getting felt like pins jammed in his pecker without them. They moved a practice facility closer to his home, because it must be hell having to get outta bed every day at NOON to drive 40 miles to play BASKETBALL. Then, they dealt with an egomanical goon who wanted the team re-made every year. Every transaction, Lebron signed off on. From Shaq, to Jamison (not the whiskey, the guy who plays like he's drinking it), from Mo Williams to Big Z. Cleveland was forced to remake a team that was winning 50-65 games on a yearly basis for this guy, instead of going the natural progression of letting a team grow and gel. No time for that. Not with Queen James wanting it all now, and even then it'd be 5 minutes late. Dan Gilbert consistently went over the luxury tax in a time when doing so destroyed his bankroll. The NBA murders you for going over the salary cap on a dollar by dollar basis. But he did it. While every other team was blowing off multiple seasons at a time, Cleveland wasn't afforded such a luxury. Refer back to the ego comment.
5. Winning titles can change James image.
Why it's a Myth: People often point to the Kobe Bryant example for this. Bang a girl at a hotel, she farts out lies (and chunky Laker spunk) about rape...but win a few rings on your own and no one remembers. There are two reasons why this is a bad example. For one, people hate Kobe Bryant. No athlete probably in sports is more polarizing at this moment. As great as Kobe is...and he's the best player in the league, top 5 all time...people don't appreciate his greatness because they can't stand him personally. He's villified in many arenas in a way Jordan, Magic, or Bird never were. Titles have kept Kobe haters quiet, but in a recent poll, Kobe rated 2nd...behind Lebron...as the NBA player with the most negative perception about them. On top of that, what Lebron did was on display and in your face for the world to see. It's one thing to smack your wife around. It's another to video tape it, and have Jim Gray commentate it...on your dime. I've been around sports in unique ways in my life, and I've never seen an athlete publicly and needlessly torch himself the way James did. It makes you wonder if he showers with the lights off because someone of such a low moral compass can't possibly look at themselves in the mirror. His image is done. Eight championships won't change it. Forever, there will be a faction of people that hate Lebron James, and some of them in the most damning areas in the world...his home and in New York City, a town with a long memory. Five titles in Miami won't be as favorable on his legacy as one in Cleveland.
6. This can be Lebron's team and his legacy
Why it's a Myth: Take a look at all the poses from the press conference and the Heat rally. You notice something similar in ALL of the pictures. Lebron on one side, Chris Bosh (seriously, if I'm worried about committing PR suicide to play with someone...CHRIS BOSH!!?!?) on the other. Flanking Dwayne Wade, whose team this undoubtedly belongs to. Wade won a ring without James. He doesn't need James or Bosh the way they NEED him. And proof positive is that they came to Miami, not Cleveland, New York, or Chicago. Wade said "jump" and they all said "how high." James continues to be a 25 year old little boy letting everyone else make his decisions for him.
Aptly noted, there are 6 myths that seem to be permeating around these parts about how Miami snookered Cleveland and Toronto. To recap, in case you can't read (like most of James' advisors when it comes to any books on media relations), Lebron is NOT taking less money to play in Miami. He's NOT going to win his way out of this bad image he has. The Heat are NOT a lock to be the best place to win a ring. And Cleveland DID all they could to put a winner around him. My personal hatred for this guy is at a fever pitch. He embodies so much that is wrong with everything about sports, about people in general. At one point in his life, James was a kid in Akron with nothing to do, so he grabbed his shoes, a ball, and ran down to the park to begin the legend that has become. Once upon a time, he was a plucky high school kid with a million dollar smile and the game to match. Now he's innocence lost, a cautionary tale for how to go from loved to hated in the matter of 30 seconds. One day, when he looks back like we all do at the moments we wish we could forget, undoubtedly James will rue the day he woke up and forgot that kid shooting in the park. You can't always go home again. Especially when you're home's way too good for a cold soul like you.