Written by: apolloj23 9/27/2009 9:36 PM
Phonetically appealing, the phrase "douche canoe" has risen quickly within the vernacular of slang using Americans across the country. The Urban Dictionary calls Hanover, NH as the home town of the term. I don't know if that is true or not, but the term has certainly made a home here with the members and forum participants at the TBDPITL. Born out of a need to help classify the douchiest of all douche bags walking the earth, the phrase "douche canoe" has filled that void. When douche or douche bag simply isn't enough, "douche canoe" has taken identification of douchbaggery to a new level. This blog will give us an opportunity to identify, define and chastise the douchiest people on the planet..."douche canoes"!For the duration of the season and often as I can in the off-season, I will help call out the "douche canoes" of the world. Hopefully, their story will give us all an opportunity to learn from their mistakes and spot similar species. Remember, avoid the "douche canoe" at all cost!This weeks "douche canoe" nominees are:Mackenzie Phillips, Moammar Gadhafi, David Hasselhoff and Bob Griese.And this week's winner is...Bob "Jimmie Johnson's #1 Fan" GrieseWhile this might come as a surprise to some of you who don't get to hear Bob call your conference's games every week for ESPN/ABC, Bob would be better served coaching softball for the Saskatoon Rough Riders. Whether it is his blatant homer-ism when calling Purdue games and to some degree Michigan (son Brian played there) or his attempt to comment on things he knows nothing about, Bob is quickly turning into one of the biggest "douche canoe" color commentators in college football. For example, this week during promos for ABC's coverage of NASCAR's Chase for the Cup, Bob decided to enlighten all of us by mentioning that NASCAR runs 8 or 9 of them races in a row at the end of the season. What? Really, Bob? Thanks for that tidbit of info.Or two weeks ago during the Wisconsin / Fresno State game, Bob showed his true colors when he mentioned this on-air, "You know, everything won't be right in the scheme of things in collegefootball until Notre Dame gets back and Michigan gets back and all thepowers that used to be get back to where they were,". Hmmm, the only thing that sentence missed was Griese reminding us that the '72 Dolphins are the best football team ever (I think I just threw up a little)!Or during the Ohio State / Navy game, Griese...who played in the Big Ten, who's son played in the Big Ten, who calls Big Ten games every week, decided to call the Buckeyes defense "a bunch of Buccaneers"...as in the Navy wide receiver found himself surrounded by "a bunch of Buccaneers". They are the Buckeyes you "douche canoe!"Bob, Mercury Morris called. Even he thinks you are an embarrassment to color commentating. Retire. Give it up. The Rough Riders need you.Bob Griese, "douche canoe" of the week!
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Good Stuff Apollo.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week!
Good Stuff Apollo.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Well done, Apollo. "Irregardless" of his iconic status, Griese continues to amaze me with his simplistic homerisms. Too bad his son sounds just like him. Unfortunate for Brian, who shows some better insight and apparently researches things before he says them. Problem is I'll hear him speak and immediately turn him off because he sounds like his dad.
Well done, Apollo. "Irregardless" of his iconic status, Griese continues to amaze me with his simplistic homerisms. Too bad his son sounds just like him. Unfortunate for Brian, who shows some better insight and apparently researches things before he says them. Problem is I'll hear him speak and immediately turn him off because he sounds like his dad.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Bravo...Bob is so deserving...
Bravo...Bob is so deserving...
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Bob is definitely a worthy recipient. Great stuff.
Bob is definitely a worthy recipient. Great stuff.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Durfish...I didn't realize Bob was an icon. I must have missed that memo! Seriously, thanks for the feedback, everyone!
Durfish...I didn't realize Bob was an icon. I must have missed that memo! Seriously, thanks for the feedback, everyone!
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Please don't use irregardless.. it's not even a word... use regardless... irregardless is a double negative... it negates the word regardless... sorry... not trying to be a dick... please don't take it that way... it's just a pet peeve...-John Pentagon
Please don't use irregardless.. it's not even a word... use regardless... irregardless is a double negative... it negates the word regardless... sorry... not trying to be a dick... please don't take it that way... it's just a pet peeve...-John Pentagon
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Funny you mention that JP. I used it incorrectly for a month or two before Mrs. Apollo informed me of my error! I don't know where I heard it...probably on Fox News or something.
Funny you mention that JP. I used it incorrectly for a month or two before Mrs. Apollo informed me of my error! I don't know where I heard it...probably on Fox News or something.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Hey JP...did you even begin to wonder why I put "irregardless" in quotes? Because it's something Griese would say. DURFISH knows it's not a word...YOU know it's not a word...Griese, well, probably not.And Apollo...I was using satire by referring to Griese as an icon. In reality he's a lucky has-been who was carried by Earl Morrall to the AFC championship game. Morrall was the AFC Player of the Year that year, not Griese.The running game and defense won the '72 championship for the Fins...not Griese.
Hey JP...did you even begin to wonder why I put "irregardless" in quotes? Because it's something Griese would say. DURFISH knows it's not a word...YOU know it's not a word...Griese, well, probably not.And Apollo...I was using satire by referring to Griese as an icon. In reality he's a lucky has-been who was carried by Earl Morrall to the AFC championship game. Morrall was the AFC Player of the Year that year, not Griese.The running game and defense won the '72 championship for the Fins...not Griese.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Oh, I caught your sarcasm Durfish on both accounts. I perpetuate the irony...
Oh, I caught your sarcasm Durfish on both accounts. I perpetuate the irony...
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! I still would rather listen to Bob than Paul Maguire.
I still would rather listen to Bob than Paul Maguire.
Re: Douche Canoe of the Week! Great stuff Apollo....One quick suggestion? Maybe include a quick summary for the other nominees, since most people don't read the newspaper other than to get scores or see where Billy went today in Family Circus.Other than that, I am thrilled to see this feature back online.
Great stuff Apollo....One quick suggestion? Maybe include a quick summary for the other nominees, since most people don't read the newspaper other than to get scores or see where Billy went today in Family Circus.Other than that, I am thrilled to see this feature back online.