Written by: apolloj23
10/29/2009 12:36 AM

Its been a few weeks since our last "douche canoe" revealed themselves from the depths of human existence.  But, we've certainly witnessed a quickening pace to the number of worthy candidates.  It seems to be all the rage to moan and complain about things after the fact.  Especially complaints about things that our out of our personal control.  Crying, whining, moaning, groaning...whatever you want to call it, complaining seems to be the style of the day.

We've seen example after example of this from our very own college football head coaches.  Mack Brown got this recent cycle kicked off by whining about SEC bias...of all things.  Now, not to be outdone, several SEC coaches themselves (Petrino, Kiffen and Mullen, et al) are complaining about everything from holding penalties to replay officials to even a vast SEC-based conspiracy to get 'Bama and UF to the SEC Championship Game.  Hmm, really?

Despite all of this moaning and groaning...there is even a bigger group of idiots that have earned this week's award.  Amazing, but true.

As I sit here and write this, a major snowstorm is raging out my window.  It literally looks like a snow globe.  There is already 17 inches on the ground and we are expecting 6-8 inches more ("that's what she said").  While I keep one eye on the weather outside, I'm listening to the Baseball Tonight guys from ESPN break down the Phillies Game 1 victory over the Yankees and wonder...why in heck are they just now playing Game 1 of the World Series...on October 28th!  Seriously.  I mean they scheduled it this way?  How dumb is that?  I know the Rockies didn't quite make it to the World Series (WS) this year, but they weren't too far off.  Just imagine if Major League Baseball (MLB) would have had to postponed WS games because of two feet of snow covering the field.  Talk about embarrassing!

Its not just the late calendar dates that have turn the MLB into a bunch of "douche canoes", its also the late start times of the games.  I mean games aren't even getting going until around 815p ET these days.  With an average game length of over 3 hours, most of these games will not end until near midnight.  What kids...hold it...what adults out there will be able to make it until midnight to watch one of these games on a school night.  Do we really need to have the start of the game appear in prime time?  I mean who watches the first six innings anyway?  Get the best part of the games into prime time and that would be the 7th, 8th and 9th innings!  MLB has lost a generation of kids who are potential fans on this single problem alone...let alone all of the other crap they do.

Speaking of other crap, the MLB's handling of PEDs (whatever those are), the lack of a salary cap, the lack of any sort of parity, the complete and utter failure of Bud Selig to provide any sort of positive change and probably a thousand other things, has caused major harm to the ultimate success of professional baseball in this country.  It truly is a shame and quite painful to watch.  I played baseball for my entire childhood and into college.  I love the game, but I hate this product.  Its boring, lacks depth, and is on occasion quite capricious.  I can't believe I will admit this, but I watched more of Cougar Town (the entire episode) than I did of Game 1 of the WS (not one pitch). 

The "douche canoe" livery that is the MLB, is led by the chief "douch canoe" himself...Bud Selig.  There is hope that, if they could get Bud out of there and get someone who actually cares about the renewal and growth of professional baseball in the 21st century, baseball could recover.  But until then, the MLB could take a few pointers from the NFL, NCAA, NBA and even the NHL.  Its time for baseball to live again and come join the rest of us in this century!  Get with the program, Bud.

Major League Baseball, "douche canoe" of the week!

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